My daughters were full out bouncing all over my bed. The antique head board was rattling continuously against the lavender wall. I tried to be fun and “logical” about it.
“Girls! Remember the monkeys?” Referring, of course to the monkeys that jumped on the bed and one by one fell and bumped their heads. They immediately stopped bouncing and shouted.
“Yeah!” Then both of them peered over at the closet with a unified awe and asked, “Monkeys in the closet?”
I was confused for a second then realized what they were talking about… Our ragged and well loved copy of “Where’s Spot?” came to mind and I remembered that, yes, there were monkeys in the closet of that book. At least I had there attention. I sat down on the bed and explained that no, there were no monkeys in the closet and that if they don’t stop acting like monkeys themselves, they might end up bumping their heads like in the song.
Did this cure them of bed jumping? No, not at all. But it did bring a new fear to the table for them. “What truly is in those dark closed closets?” A normal nap/bedtime conversation might go as follows:
“Monkeys?” says one as she points to the closet door.“No monkeys!” I say with confidence, “just dresses and diapers.”
“No monkeys!” they reply whiled very seriously shaking their little curly heads. “Just dresses and diapers.”
Their innocent exploration of the world is teaching me a few things. We all are afraid of things. While I was afraid of the girls getting hurt while bed jumping, or at the very least my headboard/lavender wall getting hurt, my daughters were afraid of jungle animals hiding in dark spaces.
How do you deal with fear?
Hint, ignoring it isn’t the answer. I liked my girls’ example. Face it. Talk to a trusted person about it. Repeat truth to yourself.
Fears can be very hard to pinpoint especially as a mom. They manifest themselves in a lot of different ways. Striving for control. Overwhelm. Fight, flight, or freeze mode. If you are dealing with any of these things on a regular basis, sit down and journal what fears might be behind your actions.
Pray first, always
Tell God how you’re feeling and what fears seem to be taking over. Surrender what He asks you to surrender. Ask for extra strength in the areas you still need to face. Then talk to a trusted friend, counselor, spouse, etc. In my own life, this has lead to making plans to avoid certain situations or having somebody with me when I need to do a task that causes anxiety.
Repeat truth to yourself
Whatever the fear is, whether it’s monkeys in the closet or an actual real life threat, the truth is the same. God is with you. No, we cannot predict the outcome of tomorrow, but we know that He will always be by our side.
Memorize Bible verses
Memorize Bible verses that specifically speak truth into your particular fear. When I was a young Christian, I was so afraid that I wasn’t actually saved. My mom helped me memorize 1 John 1:9 “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” This helped immensely to have this truth to repeat to myself over and over.
Set up boundaries
Sometimes fears need to be addressed with boundaries as in my example of my two year olds jumping on the bed. We don’t allow our children to jump on the bed because it is a safety issue. We use car seats in the vehicle to help prevent possible injury. In our adult lives, we see a lot of dangers. It’s important for us to be proactive about the things that truly are dangerous. And then hand the control over to God. He is a lot more in control then we ever could imagine to be between our tight lipped phrases and clenched jaw as we watch havoc unfold.
This is mostly for myself I think. Motherhood has brought out so many fears in my life. Dealing with them has been a struggle. I am so thankful for the help of my dear husband and friends. The Holy Spirit is a constant comfort to me amid my fears.
Fellow mamas, you are not alone. Reach out for help and find joy in the surrender of the fears you have been loaded down with.
Here is another post that is very informative about dealing with fear as a mom.
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